Simple Steps to Conflict Resolution
June 22nd, 2010In Getting to Yes, his classic book on negotiating, Roger Fisher writes: “Like it or not, you are a negotiator. Negotiation is a fact of life. You discuss a raise with your boss. You try to agree with a stranger on a price for his house. . . . Everyone negotiates something every day.”
Fisher, who founded the Harvard Negotiation Project, was right. When you stop and think about it, you realize that you are probably negotiating for something every day . . .
- Can you work on a flextime basis, instead of logging in and logging out at regular hours?
- Would your company consider setting up an in-house daycare center for employees’ children?
- Will your husband or wife
cook dinner for your family tonight, so you can go to the gym on the way home?
- Can you take on a bigger job – the one that a departing colleague just vacated?
When you are about to discuss questions like those, it is tempting to think that you are about to enter into conflict, not into conversation. According to Fisher, that is a mistake. He writes that it is better to practice something that he calls Principled Negotiation – an approach in which both parties look for areas of mutual gain.
Here are the four principles of Fisher’s approach . . .
- Separate the people from the problem. For example, set aside the fact that you don’t like your office manager and that you want to score a win against her. Remember that when you negotiate, you will come to a better agreement if you focus on issues, not personalities.
- Focus on interests, not positions. Instead of saying, “I need flextime, period,” discuss your underlying reasons for needing it and invite the other side to express its interests too. When you strive to make a situation better for both sides, you are more likely to make progress toward your goals. Read the rest of this entry »


